Tuesday, May 31, 2011

How to Move On After a Break Up

Sometimes going through a break up (irrespective of who initiated it)  leaves you with a big challenge of moving on. Dwelling on any break-up is not emotionally healthy and keeps you from re-discovering your needs and wants from a relationship.  Sometimes a break-up can even be a good thing because it will give you a chance to re-evaluate your life, and maybe even lead you to find someone more suitable.

1. Accept the Reality. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and recuperate. Remember that time heals all wounds. Put away pictures, gifts or any mementos that remind you of your ex. It is natural to experience feelings of denial, but do your best to resist the urge to call your ex and ask to get back together. Immediately after a break-up, you are at your most vulnerable state, so be careful not to get into a rebound relationship that may prove to be a mistake. Avoid some of the pitfalls, such as drowning your sorrows in negative pursuits, and instead channel all of your energy into positive activities that make you feel good about yourself.

Accept the fact that the relationship is over. Do not give yourself unrealistic fantasies that you might get back together one day. Respect the fact that the relationship had its time, but has no ran out ways to work. This was a chapter in your life that has now closed and you are now ready to grow and enter another chapter of your life.

2. Learn from It. Everything is a learning experience, so use it your advantage! Look over your relationship and list what went good about it and what went wrong. Use these notes as a tool to improve your relationships skills.

3. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Talk about how you're feeling and allow them to comfort you and offer you advice. A break-up can be a very lonely experience, so surrounding yourself with others you love and trust will help to erase some of the loneliness. Don't try to deal with the experience all by yourself. Keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy with the people you love, and don't dwell on the past.

4. Never Generalize. Going through a break up does cause you emotional withdrawal and pain, which may cause you to generalize everyone you meet. Keep in mind that everyone is an individual with their own unique qualities and personalities and your encounters with them will not carry the same experiences as your ex-relationship.

5. Focus on You. Take some time to get to know yourself again before you get involved with someone else. Know what you really need and deserve and what you are ready to give another person. When you are sure about what you are willing to give and to receive, you will be able to find a partner who will suit you well.

Take some time off for yourself and get away from the world for a while. Use this time to reflect on your life and expectations for the future. Enjoy your time alone with relaxing activities such as reading, taking long baths, watching your favorite movies or engaging in a favorite hobby or pastime. Basically, take this time to do whatever makes you feel the most relaxed and calm. Clear your mind of all negative feelings to help you slowly let go of any lingering bitterness.

6. Consider getting back into meeting new prospects after you have given yourself adequate time to get over your last relationship. Allow yourself to fall in love again and enjoy the start of a new relationship. Be careful to not rush things and take the time to really let your partner into your life. Take care not to be consumed in this new union, or any other relationship, for that matter....you never know when another break-up may happen.

Tips and Warnings : 

If you don't feel like you are recovering from your breakup after a significant amount of time, seek professional help. You may be suffering from clinical depression.

Even though things may seem hopeless after a relationship break up things do get better. You will get over your ex and after you grieve a while it’s time to move on with life.

Whatever you do, don't let a break-up get you down. Yes, easily said than done, BUT, Remember that everyone experiences break-ups regardless of age, race, class or social status. Even celebrities go through bad break-ups, so don't let the end of a relationship destroy your self-esteem.

Futher Reading : How to Mend a Broken Heart


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