Friday, November 25, 2011

How to Be A Good Listener

This is dedicated to someone special in my life who never fails to be a good listener….too good sometimes that I have to aggressively encourage (The word force would sound the person to talk and share!. It’s also a reminder to myself to learn and improve at being a better listener. I am sure for those who talk a lot, they have had their days where they wished they had just shut up and listened….and for the Silent ones…they have had days too where they wished they had just been more vocal about their thoughts and feelings. Though listening is important, there has to be a Balance too. Imagine someone who just listens and listens yet does not interact or talk enough or not at all even....that can be so frustrating and one would start wondering if the person actually bothered or wanted to know anything at all. Listening comes natural to some people. To most, Listening has to be learnt and improved on. To be a good listener, one has to be caring enough and have a genuine interest in what the other person has to say or share. I personally feel that being a good listener also means being trust worthy and loyal to keep private anything that is confided in and also to be able to give the other person something so precious…and that is our TIME. Good listening helps to bond and build good relationships and good friends!

Tips on How to be Good Listener :
  • EYES on the Speaker, EARS listening carefully - Listen with your eyes and ears; pay attention to what the person is saying.
  • MOUTH silent. - do not interrupt.
  • SIT Quietly - HANDS to yourself, FEET still.
  • THINK about what is being said, what does it mean to you?
  • ASK questions when you do not understand.
  • WAIT for your turn to speak.
  • Take NOTES if it is in a class/lecture/workshop/meeting.

Quotes :

"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words." ~ Rachel N.  

Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. 
~Frank Tyger. 

"Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak." ~Epictetus

We have to be taught to listen. - by Angela Salevouris
Listening does not come natural like hearing does. It requires our focus, attention, and the want to understand what someone is trying to tell us. Effective listening is something we need to practice to become good at. Hearing and Listening are two completely different processes. Hearing simply involves the perception of sound. One of the biggest barriers to effective communication is hearing without listening. I am sure that many of us have sat through a class or a meeting where we heard everything that was being said but didn't actually listen. When it was all over we had no idea what was really said.  Listening involves making meaning of what another person is saying, it is important to remember that everyone will interpret a spoken message slightly different. Through our own experiences, alliances, and biases we all will all take a slightly different meaning from the exact same message. It is important to remember that what we take out of a message may not be what everyone else heard or even exactly what the speaker was trying to convey. °°° 

Be a better listener for your friends by BloggersBase
Be fully aware of the other person paying attention to their words and their body language without "zoning out." The active listener is listening attentively and trying to clarify and commit to short term memory the key points being expressed.  °°°
  •  Clarify – If you don't understand what has been said it is necessary to check by asking for clarification.
  • Minimal "encouragers" – These are the nods and "mmmm" noises that one makes when chatting with people to let them know one is listening.
  • Reflecting – From time to time reflect back the important facts or feelings.
  • Challenging – This skill can be used when there is a mismatch between what the person is saying and their bodylanguage, e.g. somebody says they are really happy, but they actually look miserable. Challenging is also used when people are saying things that are contradictory. It is a skill that is used with respect – it is not the same as criticism.
  • Good body language – Leaning slightly towards the other party can indicate that they are being listened to – just as looking away or glancing at one's watch would tell them that one isn't actually there for them. (this also means not playing with your phone while someone is talking)
  • Be open and non judgmental - this encourages people to feel free to say whatever they need to without fearing an adverse reaction.

Reading :

The Good Listener  by  James E. Sullivan

Monday, November 21, 2011


Faith does not have logic to it. It is believing in something with your whole heart and mind. Logic has to go out the window when it comes to Faith....only then your heart and mind will open fully to be able to attract the positive of universe. (my perception of it)

Faith is not Belief without proof, but trust without reservation. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. (Debbie Dewitt). 

Faith is when you cannot see how, but you absolutely know the moment you have a dream it is given to you and all you have to do is relax and allow the universe to magnetize you to your dream and your dream to you. (Daily Secret).

Faith, is something that you and I exercise every day in our lives. And we've exercised it from the very moment we were born. I suppose it's true that your mother even encouraged you to feel that we could trust her when we lay in her arms. And we learned day by day that was true, she would not drop us, that she was reliable, and we could put our faith in her arms.

Similarly, when your faith in God is complete and true, You will attract only positive and good in your life. Take one step closer to God with a completely Sincere and Open heart, and God will come closer to you in many steps. (meaning God removes the seals in your heart and mind)

 `He who comes closer to Me one span, I come closer to him a cubit; and he who comes closer to Me a cubit, I come closer to him a fathom; and if he comes to Me walking, I come to him running". 
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Every day is a Blessing.

Good Morning Everyone.....

Every day is a Blessing; the only challenge is noticing the opportunities that lie therein. -- Matilda Wemegah. 

Have a Wonderful Day :-)

Friday, November 18, 2011

5 Easy Stretches You Can Do at Work.

Stretch the stress away without leaving your desk.
by Colleen Martin (Article shared by Luis Andrade.)

Stretching doesn’t just feel good. It actually does good.woman stretching at work
Maintaining flexibility is important, especially if you sit at a desk all day. Stretching boosts energy, releases tension and improves circulation.
Even better: stretching during the workday is a great way to relieve muscle tension and stress. This is good news because allowing stress to build up can weaken your immune system and make it harder for your body to fight off diseases like cancer.
So, take a few minutes out of your busy day to stretch the stress away. Try these quick and easy stretches without even leaving your desk.
Back extension and shoulder blade pinch
Stand with feet shoulder-width apart and gently lean backward to the point of mild tension with your arms also reaching back and squeezed toward each other. Tighten shoulder blades, lower back muscles and hold. Repeat three times.
Bridge stretch
Interlace your fingers with your palms pointing toward the sky, straighten your elbows and reach as far up as possible with both hands and hold for 20 seconds.
Forearm and wrist stretches
Extend one arm without bending the elbow. Bend your wrist upward, and use your other hand to gently pull your fingers back toward you and hold for 15-20 seconds. Release and bend the same wrist downward, gently pulling it down and toward you with the other hand. Hold for 15-20 seconds and repeat both stretches with your other arm.
Leg extensions
Grab the seat of your chair to brace yourself and extend your legs straight out in front of you parallel to the floor. Flex and point your toes five times then release. Repeat three times.
Hamstring stretch
Stand with your feet crossed and gently bend forward at the hips and waist to the point of mild tension. Feel the stretch along the back of your rear leg. Hold for 15 seconds. Repeat with your other leg.
So next time you feel your muscles tightening or your eyes drooping, do your body a favor and stretch to recharge.
Colleen Martin writes for Focused on Health, MD Anderson Cancer Center’s healthy living e-newsletter.

Home Made Chocolate Cream :)

 A nice creamy chocolate dessert to end the week with. Portion: 6; Preparation time:00:20; Cooking time: 00:20.

3 egg yolks
250 g (9 oz) sugar
100 g (4 oz) cocoa
250 mL (1 cup) milk
120 g (4 oz) cornstarch
45 mL (3 Tbsp) chopped hazelnuts

1. In a saucepan, heat milk, careful not to let it boil.
2. In a small bowl, dilute cornstarch in a little cold milk.
3. In a separate bowl, whisk egg yolks with sugar. Add cocoa and milky cornstarch. Add hot milk and stir.
4. Put mixture into pan and cook over low heat, stirring until thickened.
5. Pour mixture into ramekins. Sprinkle chopped hazelnuts over cream. Refrigerate for 1 hour before serving.

Recipe from Reader's Digest by Chic Cuisine

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